For those of you who thought that the hardest part of this lecture was the conversion from gigayears to seconds, here are a few other useful conversion factors.

• Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond

• Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

• 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year

• Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

• 1000 pains: 1 kiloahurtz